Bones
by Punishershadow
Summary: A boy from Sleepy Hollow appears in Konoha, seeking employ as a ninja. But he has many skeletons in his closet.-UP FOR ADOPTION
1. The Coming of the Horseman

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, Sleepy Hollow, or the characters therein. I do own the character Abraham Crane, his taijutsu style, and the idea for this story. Please don't sue me. This story takes place in an alternate universe, which diverges from Sleepy Hollow shortly after Crane arrives, and from the Naruto storyline shortly after the defeat of Momochi Zabuza and Haku in the land of Waves. The chuunin exams haven't taken place yet, and Orochimaru is nowhere to be found. Enjoy, and please review. But no flames. I hate flames, the people who send them, and will not hesitate to destroy you in place if you flame me.

It was a sunny day in Konoha. Uzumaki Naruto, the town prankster and aspiring Hokage, was pigging out at a new local noodle bar. Not because the food was any better than Ichiraku's, but because it was new, giving out free all-you-can-eat buffets, and he was broke. He'd lost the last of his money to his landlord, and hadn't been on a mission in weeks. He was coming out the door when he heard footsteps, no, _Hoofbeats_, from a side road, and a person astride a huge black horse came barreling out. The beast was obviously in a bad mood, as it pitched and bucked, trying to dismount him. "Damn it, Daredevil! Quit your bucking and calm down! We're in a public street,and the public is watching!"

The horse came to a standstill, and the boy slid off. He was a tall, lanky boy, who looked almost fourteen. He began to fiddle with a strap on his saddle. Naruto approached. "Hello. Who are you? You don't look like you're from around here."

"Hello," said the boy dryly as he continued to focus on the saddle. "And I'll not give my name till I know who I'm speaking to."

"I'm Uzumaki Naruto, and I'm gonna be the next Hokage!"

"Hokage, you say? Am I to assume, then, that I am in the Village Hidden amon the Leaves?"

"You bet! Are you lost?"

"Less lost than navigationally challenged. But the good news is that Hidden Leaf was my destination to begin with. My name is Abraham Van Brunt Crane, at your service. And this is Daredevil." The horse lifted a hoof and brought it down on Crane's foot. Crane smacked the beast across the head. "Devil, I said to calm down!" There was a pause, and then, "I know it was my fault we ended up lost, but you've got no room to complain, you were just as lost as I was!"

"Beast master?"

"More or less. I suppose you wouldn't be so kind as to direct me to a hotel, then the Hokage's office?"

"Follow me!" Naruto took off at a dead run, and Crane vaulted into the saddle and followed. Naruto led the way back to his apartment building. "The landlord rents rooms out by the day, week, or month, and he has a big back yard for Dead Devil."

"It's Daredevil. And thank you. I was simply going to check into a hotel until I could find lodging, but you seemed to have saved me the trouble." Abraham went into the landlord's house, and came out ten minutes later. "I've secured room and board for myself and Daredevil. Now I need to see the Hokage. Mount up, and we'll ride."

"I've never been on a horse before."

"It's really quite easy. You just sit here behind me on the saddle, and I'll steer. Just tell me which way to go." Naruto ran up a wall and jumped, landing on the saddle. They took off at a breakneck gallop, the iron shoes on Darevil's hooves throwing sparks at every step.

When they arrived, two ANBU checked Naruto's I.D. and let them pass. The two guards stood staring at the large, imposing, and possibly mad steed left loosely tied to a pillar by the door. Naruto led the way up to the Hokage's office. He knocked on the door, and a faint "Come in," came through. He needed no further invitation. "Hey, Old Man! You've got a visitor!"

The Third never even looked up. "I know, Naruto. The wall guards told me about a strange thin boy astride a huge horse, who said he was here to seek a job. Please bring him in." Crane stepped into the room. "Welcome to the Hidden Leaf. I'm the Sandaime Hokage, Sarutobi. You?"

"Abraham Van Brunt Crane, at your service, Hokage-sama."

"And what brings you to our village? I heard you were seeking employ?"

"That enough is true. I was told by my mother to give you this letter. I was trained by her in the ninja arts, as where I live there are no others. There is a genjutsu on it, as she did not wish the information on it to fall into any hands but yours." He took the letter from the pocket of the oilskin slicker he wore.

The Third examined the letter. On the surface it appeared to be nothing more than correspondence between friends. But when he dropped the genjutsu, he got a surprise. It was from a woman named Katrina Crane, in a small village named Sleepy Hollow. The name was vaguely familiar until he came to the second page. On it was a detailed family tree, tracing the boy's lineage back through the generations, all the way to Konoha! Sarutobi examined it further, and found that Crane was distantly related to both the Hyuuga clan, and Naruto! The letter went on to detail how Abraham had been home-schooled in the ninja arts, and held a level of skill equal to a Genin. He folded the letter, and said to them both, "This letter says that Mister Crane wishes to seek employ as a ninja. Naruto, spar with him. If you win, Abraham, I'll give you the job."

The two squared off. Naruto drew a kunai and rushed Crane, but his strike was blocked by a thick-bladed hunting knife. Crane threw the knife, and it entered Naruto's chest. The shadow clone vanshed in a puff of smoke, and the real Naruto fell from the ceiling onto him, intending to go hand-to-hand. As his first blow landed, Crane's shadow clone vanished, and behind him Naruto heard, "Akurei Tenohira Ryu: Shikon Rendan!" Naruto was pummeled mercilessly. It felt as if four sets of fists were beating him from wihout and within. He slumped to the ground, unconscious.

"Impressive. I do hope you haven't killed him. He is, as they say, kith and kin to you. You'll be on his team. I hereby grant you the official rank of Genin Ninja of Konohagakure. Welcome aboard, Abraham."


	2. The Tale Retold

When Naruto awoke, it was to the sallow face of Abraham Crane. "I'm sorry about using the Four Souls Barrage on you, but I was in a hurry. I brought you back here to your apartment. I got the job."  
"I can see, Abe." The new headband was apparent. Crane wore it around his waist as a sash, and had two swords and the thick-bladed knife stuck in it.  
"Don't call me Abe. My friends back in Sleepy Hollow called me Brom, Brom Bones."  
"Brom Bones? I can see the Bones part; you're like a skeleton with a skin on it, but Brom?"  
"Short for Abraham. I was named after a family friend. He died in a very tragic manner, shortly before I was born."  
"I'm sorry. Hey, I was wondering, where'd you come by that horse? He's huge!"  
Abraham grinned sardonically, and said, "Well, I suppose you ought to know. After all, I will be on your team. But what I am about to reveal must never be uttered, do you understand. No one beyond this room must know of it."  
"You'll be on my team! Sweet! I won't tell anyone."  
"Back to my story. It begins long ago, long before I was born, with a war. In it, my country fought to gain independence from a ruthless tyrant. The king hired mercenaries to come and help his army squash the rebellion. One of them was a horseman, a man known only as the Hessian, as he was from the province of Hess. He rode a huge black horse named Daredevil, and was the most ferocious warrior in battle. He rode across the battlefield like lightning, cutting off heads left and right. His downfall came in the winter of the year the war ended. He was on his way to the field when a musket ball hit Daredevil, killing him. The Hessian found himself chased by Continental soldiers, all bent on revenge. They cornered him, and cut off his head with his own sword. It took place in the woods west of my hometown, a little place called Sleepy Hollow. But the Hessian was so fierce that Hell itself could not hold him, and he rose from the grave as a demon, riding a demon horse, and killed again, and again."  
Naruto gulped. " A headless horseman?"  
"Yes, headless. Shortly before I was born he killed my mother's friend, the original Brom Bones, cut him in half at the hips. My mother finally defeated the horseman. She could not kill him, so she sealed him."  
"You have the horseman sealed inside you?"  
"No, of course not. Mom sealed him inside his sword! Whatever gave you that idea?"  
Naruto looked serious. "What I'm about to show you is known only to the adults of this village and me. It mustn't be told to anyone." He lifted his shirt, revealing the seal on his belly. "Years ago a fox demon called the Kyuubi no Kitsune attacked the village. The Fourth Hokage, not being able to kill it, sealed it within a newborn child. Me. I have a demon sealed inside me."  
"I can't say that I have a demon sealed within me, but I am tied to a demon, besides the horseman. On Daredevil's left hip is a brand, a heart bound in chains. On my side is the same, with the chains encircling my torso." Brom lifted his shirt to reveal it. "It seals the demon horse Daredevil to me. Bound in flesh, bound in spirit, bound in soul. If I die, so does he. If he dies, so do I."  
"Whoa." Naruto was speechless.  
"If you believe that to be amazing, I have one more piece of news. The Hokage pored through the ancient records, and your line and my line are related. We are family!"  
Naruto was truly speechless this time. After all this time, he had a family. He wasn't alone anymore. He lay down on his futon, the thoughts racing through his head.  
The next day Brom and Naruto were at the training grounds early. they'd found a notice on Naruto's door that Team Seven had a new mission, and was to meet at the training field at seven. As the two walked up, Brom astride Daredevil, they saw Sasuke and Sakura, Naruto's teammates, waiting. "Sasuke, Sakura! Good morning!" Naruto bounded over. Crane dismounted and led Daredevil over. Sasuke scowled at him. Something about the new boy and his horse just didn't feel right. As Sasuke was preparing to challenge Brom, their sensei Kakashi showed up. It was seven A.M. on the dot.  
"Hello, students. I see Naruto brought our new arrival with him. I'm Hatake Kakashi, the Jounin instructor for Team Seven. This is Haruno Sakura."  
"Ah, a beautiful name for a beautiful girl." Sakura blushed.  
"And this is Uchiha Sasuke."  
"A pleasure."  
"Your name?" Kakashi was waiting.  
"Abraham Van Brunt Crane, at your service. You may call me Brom Bones. And that is Daredevil."  
Kakashi cleared his throat. "Brom will be joining us as the newest member of Team Seven. Please make him feel welcome."  
"So, Sensei, what's our mission? Better not be something like pulling weeds or walking dogs," said Naruto.  
"It isn't. It's an A-Rank mission, eliminating a group of bandits that have been preying on travelers between Fire and Wave Countries. It should be easy, but rumors are going around that some of the bandits know ninjutsu."  
Brom grinned. "Alright, then, let's saddle up."  
As the team went along, Brom and Sakura talked. "So, Brom, where are you from?"  
"A little town called Sleepy Hollow. My father is a constable."  
"I've never heard of a village by that name. I haven't heard of any clan named Crane, or Van Brunt, either."  
"My father's family name is Crane. My mother, before her marriage, was a Van Tassel, and her line stretches back many generations, all the way back to here. I'm distantly related to Three different clans here. I'm a Third cousin twice removed to the Inuzuka, a third cousin four times removed to the Hyuuga, and a Second cousin once removed to your very own Naruto."  
Sakura didn't know whether to be impressed or disgusted. Impressed that he was kin, even distantly, to the Hyuuga, or disgusted that such a charming man was related to Naruto, of all people! "That's quite a kinship."  
"Thank you." Brom would have said more, except his thoughts were interrupted by Daredevil.  
**"Boy, I smell them. They're up ahead, and blood has been spilled."  
**"Then let's go." Brom drew a sword, a long cavalry saber, and dug his spurs into Daredevil's flanks. The great black steed reared, then tore off down the road. He blew past Sasuke so fast he was a blur, but he managed to shout to Sasuke that the men were just ahead. Sasuke activated his Sharingan, and nearly drowned in the chakra. Underneath the waves of it rolling off of Brom's left side and his horse, the Uchiha detected the chakra of the bandits. He took off as well.  
When Sasuke arrived, he saw Brom's first charge. The bandits were huddled in a knot around the bodies of two travelers, and as the horse barreled toward them they saw him and drew swords. As he passed Brom's hand flashed, and one of the bandits fell dead. He pulled up, wheeled Daredevil around, and spurred him back into the fray. This time the bandits were ready, but it was to no avail. Another two fell, victims of the boy astride the horse. However, Brom didn't ride Daredevil out of the crowd of thieves. He stood, tapped Daredevil with his spurs and dismounted. Brom was a whirling vortex, an inhuman fighter, his sword flashing again and again among the ill-fated thieves. Daredevil reared and plunged, his hooves caving in skulls and crushing limbs.  
By then Naruto, Sakura, and Kakashi had arrived. They hung back from the fight, at once appraising the boy's skill and finishing off the bandits that managed to escape either Brom's saber or Daredevil's crashing hooves with a well-aimed kunai or shuriken. As all the bandits fell, Naruto and Kakashi walked over as Brom was wiping the blood from his sword. Sakura excused herself, and the four heard the sounds of her being violently ill behind a bush. Kakashi turned to Crane. "Mister Crane, I must applaud your skills. I've never seen a battle go so swiftly. How did you know that they were here?"  
"Daredevil smelled them. But one thing troubles me. You said that some of the bandits might know ninjutsu. I just have a bad feeling."  
"So the rumors were false! Big whoop!" said Naruto as he searched the dead. He was focused on Brom, and didn't notice when his still-roving hand met something sticky. He looked down, and his hand was in a bandit's bloody grip.  
"He-Help me, please," he wheezed, and Naruto examined his wounds. He was relatively unharmed, but was missing his left arm to the elbow.  
"Hey, guys! I've got a live one here!" The others rushed over, save Brom, who was dragging the bodies off the road. Once the dead were off the road and in the trees, he set to work.  
Naruto was impressed by both Sakura and Kakashi's medical skill. Even though Sakura had lost her lunch she dove readily into the bloody work of keeping this man alive. She bound his wounds, put a tourniquet on his severed arm, and rummaged through her bag, but came out empty. "Kakashi-Sensei, do you have any morphine in your bag?" The silver-haired Jounin tossed her a box. She pulled out a small syringe. It went into the bandit's arm. His face sagged into blissful inattention.  
Sasuke was hanging back, keeping an eye out for possible bandit backup. He noticed a slight flare of chakra from where Brom was, then the boy came walking out. What were you doing?"  
"Giving the bandits a proper burial. I used a Doton jutsu to bury them."  
"Then tell me what's inside your bag, that reeks of blood."  
"Trophies. I lifted some hair, but only the brave ones. I won't lift a coward's scalp." He opened his bag, displaying five wet, bloody objects. "When we get back to Konoha, I'll use them in a ceremony that an Indian named Three Knives taught me. It appeals to the spirits of the dead to forgive me, and to let go of any anger they may feel at being killed."  
"Rubbish."  
"Not so, Uchiha. The dead are all around us, closer than we think." Brom closed the bag, performed a jutsu, and the smell stopped. He remounted Daredevil, and trotted over to Sakura. "Care to ride?" Sakura slid up into the saddle behind him, and Daredevil disagreed. He expressed this disagreement by bucking. Sakura went flying, and the horse stopped. "Give me a minute, Sakura. I need to work the kinks out of him." He spun the horse around, dug his spurs deep into his flanks, and Daredevil took off at a gallop. He raced back and forth, going in and out of the trees, over logs, rocks, and bushes, through a stream, and around in different patterns. He did figure-eights, circles, and spins, and finally had enough. Daredevil swallowed his head, and quit the earth. He started to buck with such energy that it seemed he was trying to chin the moon. He high-dived, crow-hopped, and belly-rolled. Daredevil reared and plunged, stood on his head, jack-hammered and went ape.  
All the while Brom sat upon him cussing. Foul words rolled out of his mouth in a blue cloud, and you could hear the air around him sizzle. "Damn you, you rat-tailed, ewe-necked, sway-backed, crowbait son of a Malaga jack-ass! I should've sold your miserable hide to an Inuzuka!" He was going to say more, but at that moment he blew a stirrup, and Daredevil threw him. Brom sailed through the air, forked-end up, his legs kicking like a migrating bullfrog. He landed on his head, and leapt to his feet.  
"Okay, Daredevil. Point taken," grumbled Brom. "Sakura, I guess you'll have to ask Daredevil. He has a mind of his own."  
All the while, Sasuke, Naruto, and Kakashi were watching. None said a word. Sakura walked up to Daredevil slowly, and reached out a hand. She stroked the horse gently on the muzzle, and said, "May I please ride you, Daredevil?"  
**"You may, young lady."**  
Brom was listening. "He says you may. He started to climb up ahead of her, but Daredevil shied away. "What are you doing, Devil? Let me up."  
**"No, you get to walk. I only have the strength to carry one person back to town, and you pissed me off. So start hoofing, Abraham."**  
"Damned horse. Sakura, I believe I'll walk. I need to speak with your teammates anyway. Don't worry, I've worked it out with Daredevil. He won't throw you." Daredevil started to trot away.  
Sasuke was the first to speak. "When you rode past me and I activated my Sharingan, I could barely sense the chakra of the bandits over your chakra and your horse's. Explain."  
"I suppose you deserve an answer. The reason is that Daredevil isn't a regular horse. He's a lesser demon. His previous master was also a demon. The two of them used to be mortal, a warrior called the Hessian and his horse. They were killed, but rose again as a demon horse and a headless rider, and terrorized my village. My mother managed to defeat the Horseman by sealing him inside his own sword. But she didn't know the repercussions of her actions. When it happened she was pregnant with me, and when I was born, there was a mark on me. This." He removed his shirt, and displayed the mark, black as night against his skin. "The heart, bound in chains. At the sound of my first cry, there came a clattering from outside, the sound of hoofbeats on the road, stopping in front of my house. My parents rushed to the window, and there in front of the house stood Daredevil. He'd disappeared after the Hessian was sealed, but reappeared that night. He stood there, as if waiting, and then my parents saw it. There on the demon horse's left hip was a heart bound in chains, branded into his skin!"  
"So you two are bound by these marks. I see," said Kakashi. "Are there any side-effects?"  
"Few, but some. If I die, so does Daredevil, and vice versa."  
"I see. Well, let's get this guy back to Konoha," said Kakashi, pointing to the still-unconscious bandit.  
"I'll carry him," said Brom. He picked up the bandit, and began to run back to Konoha.


	3. Teaching

Later that day, Brom sat surrounded by his new teammates at Ichiraku's. Naruto was bragging loudly to the owner's daughter, and Sakura was eyeing Sasuke, who was secretly lacing his tea with stiff shots of sake from a flask in his pocket. Brom himself was sipping tea, and thinking of a girl back home in Sleepy Hollow. Kakashi was off somewhere doing something. He didn't care.

Brom was into his third cup of tea when a voice behind him spoke. "I'm looking for a man named Crane."

Brom turned, and saw a sour-looking boy with pupil-less eyes glaring at him. "You have found me. Abraham Van Brunt Crane, at your service."

"They say that your line can be traced back to the Hyuuga."

"Among others. I am but a distant relation to the noble Hyuuga, a third cousin four times removed."

"So you know none of the Jyuuken, nor possess the Byakugan?"

"In manner, yes and no. I do not have the White Eyes, nor pure Jyuuken. That was never truly passed on. But my ancestor left a scroll he'd created, one that I suppose was the one that got him exiled from the Hyuuga. It contained a manual for a new Taijustu style, one that combined Jyuuken with other styles, some hard, some soft. He called it Akurei Tenohira Ryu."

"I see. Demon Palm Style. That would be my ancestor. My name is Hyuuga Neji, of the Branch House. I was doing research in the family archives and came across a reference to the style, and the name of my ancestor, Hyuuga Sainan. I would like to see if this style is any good, and test it against the pure Jyuuken. Fight me."

"Why not? See if the father can still best the son. But I warn you, Hyuuga Neji, I adhere to the most basic tenet of Demon Palm."

"Which is?"

"There is no such thing as a fair fight." Brom slid into a fighting stance, and it began. The rest of Team Seven watched as the two danced about, throwing blow after blow with neither taking a hit. Things looked bad for Brom as Neji lunged in for a blow to the heart. Brom tripped over a rock and barely rolled out of the way. He came up, limping, and threw a sidekick.

"You're out of ran-" Neji began, but was cut off as Brom's boot came flying through the air at him. He slipped it, and ran full into Brom's blow. It was a flat palm to the upper left arm. Neji felt the chakra burn his arm.

But it didn't come without a price. Neji's other arm came up, and Neji pumped chakra into Brom's chest. He staggered, and Neji drew back. Brom stood, then doubled over and puked blood. He regained his stance, and said shakingly, "Good blow. But I'm not finished. On your hind legs, Hyuuga." He lunged, using strike after strike, being blocked all the way, and finally decided to play an ace. "Hey, Neji. Do you remember what I said at the beginning of this fight?"

"I remember. There is no such thing as a fair fi-" At that moment Brom rushed in and closed both hands on Neji, one on either side of his face. "Akurei Tenohira Ryu: Onna-Yuwakusha no Koe no Jutsu!" The boy slid to the ground, blissfully unconscious. "The Siren's Voice. I never told him that some of the techniques in my taijutsu style weren't taijutsu. He's just knocked out, but he'll wake up feeling like he's been through the wringer."

A voice rang out from down the street. "Nice one! I'll bet he never saw it coming!" It was a blond girl, and judging by the way Sakura looked at her, Brom could tell she was a rival or an enemy.

"Hello, Ino." But of course, Ino ignored her. She walked up to Brom, and said, "Yamanaka Ino. Pleasure to meet you."

"Abraham Van Brunt Crane, at your service. My friends call me Brom."

"What did you do to him?" She pointed to the still-unconscious Neji, who Naruto had dragged off the road.

"Demon Palm Style: Siren's Voice Technique. I used a ninjutsu to knock him out."

"Why was stuck-up Neji fighting you anyway?"

"He wanted to see if a style older than the hills could stand up to its bastard descendant."

"What do you mean?" Brom now saw that she was making eyes at him. Oh, no. He came up with a spur-of-the-moment plan. "How about I let my girlfriend explain it? Sakura dear, care to explain to Miss Ino about my fight, and other such things?" When Sakura looked at him like he was on something, he mouthed, "Play along, so she'll leave." A look of realization dawned on her face.

"Of course, Bonesy, I'd be delighted. You see, Ino-pig, my Bonesy here is from out of town. But his line can be traced back all the way to Konoha. He's a third cousin, four times removed, to the Hyuuga. One of his ancestors, an exiled Hyuuga named Sainan, created a new taijutsu style containing elements of bastardized Jyuuken, and other styles, called the Demon Palm Style. Neji is also a direct descendant of Sainan, so he wanted to test his cousin. Isn't that right, Bonesy poo?" She draped herself languidly upon him, and they kissed.

Ino looked like she was barely controlling the urge to either strangle Sakura, throw herself upon Brom, or possibly both. Naruto was on the verge of laughing hysterically, and Sasuke was turning red. Ino looked at them, and said, "I see." She walked off.

As soon as Ino was gone Naruto collapsed and began to laugh like a hyena. As soon as he regained his composure, he took one look at Sakura, and couldn't help it. He spent nearly ten minutes laughing and repeating "Bonesy poo", laughing until he nearly suffocated. Sasuke, who up until now had not said a word, leaned over, and whispered something in Sakura's ear. She reacted out of instinct and Sasuke drew back with a red mark on his face where she'd slapped him.

"What did he ask?" asked Brom.

"He asked if during that kiss you slipped me the tongue!"

Naruto heard this and spent another ten minutes laughing his ass off. He stopped when both his cousin and Sakura kicked him.

"If you will all excuse me, I have some shopping to do. Farewell." Brom walked off.

Two hours later, in a copse of forest off of one of the training grounds, Brom arranged his things. He set his warbag down, and built a small fire of dry wood. He drew from his bag a flint knife, some herbs, and the scalps he had taken that morning. When the fire got hot, he threw in the herbs. The fire gave off sweet-scented smoke and burned brighter. "Spirits of the warriors I slew today, I ask you do not hate me for taking your lives. You were honorable fighters, and brave. You were not easily killed. I ask that you let go any anger, and pass to the next world. I hold no part of you to bind you here." He threw the scalps on the fire. As they burned, Brom took his flint knife, and cut his palm. "No journey is without pain, so I give you my blood, and wish you farewell." He squeezed five drops of blood into the fire, and it abruptly flared up, and took on a hellish red tint. The scalps burned away, and the fire went out. Brom watched as his hand healed. There were perks to being bound to a demon. He healed very fast. He went home, and grilled a steak, and pulled a case out of his rucksack. He removed a violin, and he sat there in a bare room, and played.

The next day Brom showed up at the training field with Naruto, and Kakashi was already there. "Ah, Naruto, Brom. Good morning."

Naruto was in shock. "What did you do, Kakashi-sensei, get a map for the road of life!?!"

"Actually, I spent the night here, devising a new training method. I'll explain when Sakura and Sasuke get here. Ah, here they come."

The two strode up, and were both equally in shock to see that Kakashi wasn't late. "So what's this new training, Kakashi-Sensei?" asked Naruto. "Is it hard?"

"Only if you make it hard. Here is my plan. A team that trains together works better together, so each of you is going to teach the others one thing. First up is Sasuke. What will you be teaching your teammates?"

The Uchiha stepped forward and faced his teammates. "I suppose I'll teach you one of my Katon Jutsus. The technique is Goukakyu no Jutsu, the Grand Fireball." He demonstrated the hand signs in slow motion, then at full speed. "Now you do it." Sakura's first try lit a log in front of her on fire. Naruto tried, and barely got a spark. "No, no, Naruto, try it again. You're not putting enough chakra into it."

Naruto's next attempt blew the log into pieces.

Brom ran his hands through the signs twice to memorize them, and then he performed the justu. Katon: Goukakyu no Jutsu!" He breathed smoothly, and a wave of fire rolled from his mouth and incinerated a tree ahead of him.

Kakashi applauded. "Bravo, Brom, and Bravo to you, Sasuke. Next up is Naruto. Teach them."

"Okay, people, I'm going to teach you one of my super-secret jutsus, one that I developed just for myself just last night. It's called the Kyuhyaku Kitsune no Jutsu. Nine hundred Foxes. I guess the best way to demonstrate is to use it." He ran through the signs, and then all of a sudden Brom saw foxes of every color and size slink out of the trees, and rush him. He stood stock still, and as a fox lunged at him he hit it. It passed through his arm, but it still hurt. As Naruto lifted the genjutsu, he said, "What do you think?"

"Interesting," remarked Sasuke.

It was by far the easiest thing to learn that day.

Next came Sakura. " I don't know anything special, really. I just know what they taught us in the Academy."

"What about your medical skills?" asked Kakashi. "You have skills as a healer that rival Tsunade of the Sannin."

"Alright, then! I'm going to teach you how to treat a wounded man. Kakashi-sensei, will you be wounded for us?"

"Of course, Sakura."

"Thank you." She kicked his legs out from under him. "Now, let's say that Kakashi has fallen down a hill. His leg is bent at an odd angle. What's the first thing you do?"

"Get him to safety!" said Naruto.

"No, you don't. You don't even move him. Why?"

"Because you don't know if the broken leg is all he has," said Brom.

"Exactly. But the broken leg, you treat right away," she said, and demonstrated how to splint the leg. She even tested them, under battlefield conditions, with each person timed to splint Kakashi's leg while the other three heaved shuriken and fire jutsus just over their head.

When it was done, Brom said, "I guess I'm up next. Master Kakashi, may I run to town for a moment to gather some supplies for my lesson?"

"I have a better idea. How about we all break for lunch, and you gather your things then." They set out for their lunch stops.

When Team seven arrived back at the training ground, their newest member was already there. "I'm going to teach you the art of the saber. On that log are three sheathed sabers with belts. Belt them on, and come back here." They complied. "The saber is a type of sword, with a guard that curves from the base of the blade to the end of the grip, and a curved blade. Meant to be used from horseback, it's a one-handed weapon. Stand with at least four feet between you and the next man. Follow me. Place your right hand through the loop of cord at the end of the grip. It's called a sword-knot, and it'll keep the saber from being lost if you drop it in battle. Grip the grip, and place your left hand on the scabbard. Draw your sabers!" He executed the motion as if it were second nature. Each drew the saber. "Now, assume my stance. This is called the Guard stance. Before I teach you anything, you'll have to learn the basics." He set them about doing moulinets, figure-eight swings meant to loosen up the wrist of the swordsman. When he was satisfied with them all, he began the true instruction. He set up dummies and demonstrated the difference between tierce and quarte, cut and point, between guard and parry. Each had four target dummies, one on each side.

"Alright, then! Guard!" They assumed the Guard stance. "Left in tierce point! Right against infantry parry and cut! Front cut! Rear cut! Right in tierce and quarte cut! Front in tierce and quarte point! For the head parry! Rear cut! About face, and Front cut! Left in tierce point! Right in quarte point! Front cut! Present saber! Sheathe saber!" They sheathed the blades. Each was sweating, and breathing heavily. "Good job. I'm proud to say that you've learned at least the basics of fighting with a saber. You may keep the blades. They were my spares."

"Hey, Brom?"

"Yes, Naruto?"

"What's with that other sword you carry?" He pointed to the other sword, a sheathed, broad-bladed sword with a dragon on the butt.

"It's a sword my family acquired before I was born." He walked off the field, and whistled. Daredevil strode up, and Brom mounted. He rode off as the others watched him go.

**Author's note: Tierce and quarte are grip positions for the saber. Tierce is the position in which the edge of the blade is facing to the right, with the nails of the hand facing downward. Quarte is the position in which the edge of the blade is facing left, with the nails of the hand facing upward. I got my information from a copy of the United States Army 1864 Field Artillery Manual **


	4. Lessons Learned

When Naruto returned to his apartment, the first thing he did was to sit down, and start to meditate. Ever since the battle on the bridge, he'd felt a presence inside his head, a nagging voice.

As Naruto relaxed, his world began to swim. When everything righted itself, he stood in a sewer, in front of a massive cage. The door was held shut by a tiny slip of paper, with a picture of the seal on his belly upon it. Though he'd never been there, he somehow knew that this was inside his mind, the place where the Fox was imprisoned. _"Kyuubi no Kitsune! If you're in there, say something!"_

**_"Shut up, Kit! I was asleep. What brings you to the doorstep of my cell?"  
_**  
_"I come to learn. I come to ask you to teach me. I don't know anything about my parents, or the rest of my clan. The only family I have is Brom, and I barely know him. I ask you to teach me, tutor me. I may be the village idiot, but I want to learn."_

**"You ask much of me, Kit. I can only do so much, behind these bars. What you ask requires a trade of sorts." **The Kyuubi went on to describe what Naruto had to do. It would be complex, dangerous, and very likely illegal, but Naruto was willing to take that risk. He awoke from his meditation and set out to acquire the needed items.

Two days later, Naruto sat in the forest, by strange coincidence on the very spot where Brom had burned the scalps. He opened a small crate, and withdrew a small fox kit. He drew a seal on it's belly, and focused on the demon's chakra within him. Naruto's hands flew through the thirty-seven seals of the jutsu, and as he performed the last one, he bit his thumb and smeared a streak of blood across the inked seal on the fox's belly. There was a flash of light, and Naruto blacked out.

When he awoke, Naruto saw the fox kit walking toward him. _**"I suppose it worked, but why did you use a baby?"**  
_  
"Because a baby's chakra network is less rigid, and it was more likely to survive. The same reason that the Fourth Hokage used me to seal you."

**_"I see. I can still draw on my chakra, but I can't draw very much."  
_**  
"I left a few signs out, so I could control your usage. The chakra's still inside my belly, separate from the rest. We can both draw on it. I don't want any rampages. Okay, Kyuubi, I let you loose. Now tell me about my family..."

At that same moment, Brom was in his backyard, grooming Daredevil and speaking to him. "Devil, I know that I was foolish the other day, and I apologize," he said as he curried the horse. "I should have realized that a proud warhorse such as yourself would object to me treating you like some common pony. But you also have to realize that I am no boy, and that so long as we are bound by the seal, we are stuck together. Your enemy is mine. My enemy, yours."

_**"I understand, Abraham, and I apologize as well. I was just as arrogant. Together we stand?"  
**  
_"Together we fight!"

Back in the forest, Naruto listened in rapt attention as Kyuubi used its claws to scratch names and images in the dirt. **_"That is how your ancestor, Uzumaki Okugi changed his name to Van Garrett. His line split off to form the Van Tassels, and your cousin Brom is the result."  
_**  
"Whoa. You've done a lot of reading."

_**"What do you expect me to do, Kit? Sit and twiddle my fingers for twelve years?"**_

"Point. By the way, do you know any jutsus?"

**_"I think you mean, am I able to use jutsus? I know many, but I am unable to use any in my present state. With training I should be able to relearn some of them."  
_  
**"Okay. Let's go see what the others are doing, eh, Kyu?"

**_"Kyu?"  
_**  
"Well, I can't very well call you by your proper name, so I'll call you Kyu. No other option." The fox grumbled something unintelligble, and fell into heel at Naruto's side.

People were staring as Naruto walked down the street. Some threw rocks at him, as always, but he dodged them easily. He and Kyu came to the secondary training field, and found Sasuke rapidly eviscerating a series of dummies with a saber. It wasn't the one that Brom had given him. "Whatcha doin', Sasuke?"

"Training. That saber lesson was like a wart. It grew on me."

"Cool saber. New?"

"Yes. I call it Inazuma, Lightning. I forged it myself."

"You can forge weapons? I never knew that."

"One must make ends meet."

"Can you teach me?"

"Why do you want to learn?"

"Because it's cool, and because like you said, a guy's gotta make ends meet."

"Okay, but this is a secret. I don't like to teach. Meet me here in an hour." That said, Sasuke went back to his training. Naruto wandered off, and ate some ramen at Ichiraku's.

When he returned to the field, Sasuke was off in a small shack near the edge of the forest. "Here's the plan, Naruto. I'll teach you to make a weapon, but only once, so pay attention. Here's a piece of steel and some tongs. Use the Goukakyu no Jutsu to heat the steel to white-hot. Then lay the steel on the anvil and use the hammer to shape it." Sasuke took a second piece of steel and demonstrated. "When the metal cools, heat it again and keep working it until you have the shape you want." Naruto stood, thinking. _"Hey, Kyu, what should I make? I want to give it as a gift to Sakura."_

**_"Make the blade long, and thin, diamond-shaped, and narrowing to a point like a massive senbon needle. I read a book on swords, and read of a type of sword called a rapier. They said that it is a thrusting weapon, held in great renown."  
_**  
Naruto pounded the blade out, and beveled the edges.

"Now, you dip the blade in oil to temper it." Naruto complied.

"Next is the guard. It's more delicate work, so be gentle." Naruto slowly worked another piece of metal out into a supple guard, and mounted all on a cherry-wood grip. After that Naruto stitched together supple leather made from ox hide, and made a sheath.

Sasuke was inspecting the sword. "I'm impressed. What do you call it?"

"Sakura no Toge. Sakura's Thorn. It's a rapier."

"I'm impressed. Now that you know what's what, get out of my sight, and I hope Sakura likes her gift."

"How'd you know it was for her?"

"The name." Was it Naruto, or was Sasuke beginning to lighten up?

The next day dawned bright and beautiful. Naruto and Kyu were walking down the street when they spied Sakura ahead. They rushed ahead, and called out. "Hey, Sakura! Come here!"

She walked over. "What is it, Naruto? It had better not be a prank."

"It's not. I have a present for you. I made it myself, and spent all night polishing and engraving it. Here." He handed her a wrapped package. She unwrapped it, and saw the sword. The guard looked like cherry blossoms floating on a breeze, and the grip was polished cherry wood. She drew the rapier, and saw that he'd engraved the blade as well. A line of petals traced their way down the blade, which was razor-sharp. She turned it over, and saw on one side of the blade was some writing.

"Sakura no Toge. Sakura's Thorn," She read. "It's beautiful, Naruto. Why?"

"I guess I could never actually tell you myself, so I guessed a gift would express it better. I love you."

A look of sorrow crossed Sakura's face. "I'm sorry, Naruto, but my heart belongs to another. But we can still be friends, right?"

"Of course. Have a happy life with Sasuke."

"I never said it was Sasuke who has my heart. In fact, it's Brom."

"My cousin?"

"Yes."

Naruto walked away. He went to Ichiraku's and spent most of his day eating ramen, trying to drown his pain in noodles.


	5. Revelations

Two weeks passed, and each day brought a new mission. The team did everything, from rescuing cats, to pulling weeds, to hunting down a pack of rabid wolves.

Naruto woke, and pulled on his clothes. He inhaled a cup of instant ramen, and gathered his gear. He'd bought a book on sword making, and had forged two swords. One was a ninja-to that he had presented as a birthday present to Master Iruka. The other he gave to the Hokage. It was a beautiful hand-and-a-half broadsword, with silver inlay in the grips, and the blade engraved to resemble the night sky. He called it Shizuka na Yoru, Silent Night. Naruto grabbed his pack, and the saber he'd learned to use from Brom, and kicked Kyu awake. "Come on, Fox. We've got things to do."

_**"I'm coming, Kit. Last night's jutsu training was painful."**_

"But you can use Henge now, can't you? And Goukakyu? Now up and at it." He bounded out the window, and grabbed the sill of a window two floors down. He swung into Brom's apartment, where his cousin was frying venison in a skillet. "Morning, Brom."

"Morning, Naruto. Have a seat; I'll be ready in a minute." He walked over to a small pot on the back burner of his stove, and poured a cup. He ran some cold water in over the top of his coffee to settle the grounds, and drank deep. Next he ran into the other room and came back in full gear, his brown hair pulled back into a ponytail, his slicker on, and his swords belted on. He wore a new pair of boots, black leather up to mid-calf, and a deep red shirt. His hitai-ate was around his waist as always. He strode to the stove, turned it off, and speared a hunk of venison out of the skillet with his hunting knife. "This is pretty good, Naruto. Try some."

"No, thanks. I had-"

"Ramen. I know. If a person was truly what he ate, you'd be the world's biggest bowl of ramen. By the way, how's the little demon doing?"

"Kyu's still peeved about me controlling how much chakra he gets. But he's starting to settle into the role of pet/teacher." Brom had known about Kyu for almost a week. He'd stumbled upon them in the woods, and no amount of lying would change the fact that his cousin's pet fox was copying down passages from The Art of War. Verbatim. So it had come out.

When they arrived at the training field, Kakashi was talking to two other Jounin, who leapt off as they arrived. Kakashi turned to them. "No training today, but I have something for you. It's an application for the Chuunin Selection Exams. They're being held here this year, and I've recommended all four of you. The decision is entirely yours, so no pressure." Brom took his and went over to a tree. He climbed up, sat on a limb, and dug around in his pockets for his makings. Once he found them, he rolled himself a quirley and lit it. He closed his eyes and savored the taste of the smoke on his tongue, and then exhaled, blowing a smoke ring.

"You know that stuff is bad for you, right?" Brom looked down and saw Sakura and Sasuke.

"Everybody has a vice. Isn't that right, Sasuke?"

"I don't."

"Let me ask you this, then. The day I fought Neji in front of Ichiraku's, just how sober were you?" Sasuke glared at him. "I saw you lacing your tea. If you hadn't been so covert, I'd have asked you for a belt."

Sakura was speechless. Sasuke tippling? What was the world coming to?

"So, did One-Eye over there give you the applications?"

"Uh-huh. He said to turn them in at Room 301 tomorrow at four," replied Sasuke.

"Well, then, gents, shall we meet here in the morning? Ta-ta." And with that, Brom leapt off, to go see a horse about a man.

"Hey, Daredevil! I need to talk with you!"18

The horse came up to him. _**"What is it you want, Abraham?"**_

"I need to ask you. Do you think I'm ready to draw it again?"

_**"Draw the sword? Remember last time? It was-"**_

"I know what it was, Devil! Her face still haunts me at night! Do you think that if I draw the Horseman's sword that I can keep him from taking over?"

_**"I don't know, Abraham. Could the priests at the temple?"**_

"They couldn't. The evil is so ingrained that the only way to purify it is to destroy it."

_**"I think that you should only draw my master's blade in the direst of straits. I honestly don't know if you can control him."**_

"Thank you for your help, Daredevil."

_**"By the way, Abraham, what's this word I keep hearing people say, 'Chuunin'? The whole town's been abuzz with it."**_

"A chuunin is a journeyman-level ninja, akin to a sergeant in our army. The examinations to determine which of the genin get promoted to chuunin are coming up. They start tomorrow."

_**"Then we'd best be well rested."  
**_  
"Aye, that we should. But I feel like playing, so if you hear violin, it's me."

Abraham went up to his rooms, and found Naruto and his teammates sitting around his apartment. "If I'd known to expect company, I'd have put on a pot of tea. Why are you here?"

Sasuke answered. "We're here to learn about you. All we know so far is that you're bound to a demon, your mother bound another into a sword, and that you're related to Naruto, the Hyuuga, and the Inuzuka. During this test we will have to be the tightest team possible. And that means no secrets."

"Spill everything, cuz."

"Alright, but it may take a while, so sit down." They took up positions around him. "What's your first question?"

Naruto looked at him. "When we tracked down the wolves, and before that, that first mission, you fought with such abandon. It's luck and luck alone that kept you from being killed. Why do you fight like that?"

"The reason why I fight like I do, with wild abandon and no regard for my own safety, is because I know what will happen after I die."

Sakura was puzzled. "What? How do you know what will happen?"

Brom raised his shirt, and revealed the seal that bound him to Daredevil. "This is a Trinity Seal," he said, indicating the part where the heart was bound, "and these The Wanderer's Chains." He pointed to the three chains encircling his torso. "The Trinity Seal binds me to Daredevil. It also, by virtue of the bond between Devil and me, weakens the Horseman. For what is a horseless Horseman? There was an accident, however. I slowly was overcome by the Horseman's malignant aura, which I'm sure you can all feel. It's that slight tingle down your back every time you come near me when I have this sword belted on. I went berserk, and went on a rampage. At least that's what they said. I blacked out. When I came to I was covered in blood, with my parents looking at me in horror. When I asked what was wrong, they said nothing. Then I smelled it. The faint perfume of lilac and honeysuckle. It was the distinctive perfume of a girl I knew and loved, Anne Marie Maspeth, the daughter of a family friend. I was deeply in love with her. I looked down, and there before me lay a bag."

Naruto and Sakura wore identical expressions of horror. "Don't tell me it-"

Brom nodded. "It was. Anne's head was in the bag. My hands are stained with her blood. Mom knew she needed to weaken the Horseman, but she could add no more seals to the sword. So she had to weaken him through me. She removed my shirt, dipped her fingers in Anne's blood, and smeared three circles around my torso. She performed the jutsu, and the blood became chains. They became The Wanderer's Chains. They tightened the bond between myself and Daredevil, but at a great expense. The Horseman's chakra flowed and just before it was cut off, it made the chains unbroken. Mom had left three gaps, one in each chain, so that they would not be complete circles. The Horseman filled in the gaps, and now I am condemned."

"How?" asked Sasuke."

"How, you ask? A man, when the chains are upon him, is subject to great suffering in his life. But not so much as when the chains lie unbroken upon him. A man who has this jutsu used on him is affected to the very soul, and if the chains upon his body have no gaps, are endless chains, his soul is forever bound to this earth. When I die, and die I shall, I am doomed to walk the earth forever, not going to Heaven or Hell."

The others were speechless. Naruto finally spoke up. "I never knew."

"After that Mother wrote the letter, and I was sent away. She told me come to Konoha, that perhaps a cure lay here. But I have found no cure, though I have looked. So I only ask to live out my days. As they say, the most ferocious enemy is one who does not fear to die." He reached behind his couch, and pulled out his violin case. "Do you mind if I play? It helps to pass the time."

"No, not at all," said Sasuke.

"I agree, play, please," asked Sakura.

Brom removed the violin from its case, and brought it to his shoulder. As he drew the bow across the strings, his mind shut down, and he played from the heart. The first song he played was a haunting melody, one that brought him comfort, and pain.

"This song, it's so beautiful, yet it sounds so sad," remarked Sakura.

"It's called 'Star of the County Down', and it was the song I always played for Anne. It reminds me of her, and comforts me." As that song ended, Brom flowed smoothly into another, "Roxanna Waltz", and then a joyful tune, "Miss McLeod's Reel". He continued, playing snippets from concertos, and sonatas, two arias, and finally, a song that was so beautiful, yet so haunting, that it stood out from all the rest.

Naruto asked, "What is that song? It's beautiful."

Brom looked at him sardonically. "It's called 'The Devil's Trill'."

"Why that?" inquired Sasuke.

"There's a story behind it. They say that it's cursed. The story goes that once there was a great violinist, who was preparing for his last concert before he retired. The night before the show he was asleep in bed, when in a dream this marvelous piece of music came to him. It was beautiful, and haunting, but the notes were so complicated that few if any could play them without a mistake. When the man woke, he was determined, however, to write it down, and play it at his farewell concert. But try as he might, he couldn't remember all the notes, all the rests, he just couldn't. He was tearing out his hair in frustration when he heard a voice. 'I can help you with this problem of yours, but it will cost you.' Standing before the violinist was the Devil himself, offering to help the man remember all of the music. The musician asked what was the price, and the Devil explained it to him. 'When you play this piece tonight, I expect you to hit a sour note, or make some small mistake. If you play the whole piece through without error, then I will leave, and charge you nothing. But should you make but a single mistake, no matter how small, your soul is mine forever.'"

"Then what happened?"

"The man agreed, and the music flew onto the paper. The violinist set off with his new piece, and his favorite violin, for the concert hall where he would be performing. He played, all the night he played, until at the stroke of one, he began to play the piece from his dream. He played like the master he was, his fingers like fleas upon the strings, his bow like a flowing wave. He played so beautifully that it is said that statues near the door were moved to tears. He was playing a particularly complex crescendo, when he heard it. A single, tiny, imperceptible sour note. The audience watched as the man quit playing, lowered his violin, and collapsed. He was dead when the doctors arrived. And what is more, the piece that he had never named, the final piece he played, was found with a title, written in a spidery hand that was not the composer's. 'The Devil's Trill'. Since then, many have tried to play the song, but none can play it through without mistake. They get close, and then misfortune befalls them. Hands maimed, lives taken. The song is cursed. But who better to play a cursed song than a man who is already cursed?"

"I understand, Brom," said Naruto quietly.

"Of course you do, Naruto. You of all the people in this village know best the meaning of torment."

Sakura saw a look pass between the two, and asked, "I understand that Naruto understands suffering, but why the deep look?"

Brom looked at her. "Do you know why Naruto is so despised throughout the village?"

A look of puzzlement passed across her face. "Isn't it obvious? It's his constant pranks."

"No, that isn't it. The pranks are annoying, but they're merely an attempt to be recognized, a bid for attention. Think."

"I was hated, even as a baby. The people at the orphanage wouldn't come near me. They bathed me by picking me up with a pair of tongs and dunking me in soapy water. If they bathed me at all."

Brom looked at the obviously lost Sakura. "You, of all people, the smartest of your class, can't figure this out? Naruto was orphaned on what day?"

"The day that the Kyuubi was killed by the Yondaime Hokage."64

"Close, but no cigar. How did the Fourth kill the fox?"

"I don't know, I wasn't there."

"The truth is, Sakura, the Hokage couldn't kill it."

"But where is it? What happened?"

"Think."

A look of concentration was on Sakura's face, and then a look of horror, surprise, and then curiosity. She looked at Naruto, who raised his shirt to reveal the seal on his belly. "I was chosen to be the vessel, like a living prison. The Fourth, I heard, wanted me to be thought of as a hero. But I guess he underestimated people's fear."

Brom looked at Naruto. "Do you want to get her up to speed, or should I tell her about the little demon?"

"I'll do it. Sakura, do you know how recently I started to carry around a fox kit named Kyu?"

"Yes. I thought you just wanted companionship from something as mischievous as you. Although I did wonder why you named him Nine."

"Let me explain it to you this way. What is currently inside me is the Fox's chakra. What's currently curled up in my lap is the Fox."

"You mean...?"

"Yup. I used a jutsu to separate the Kyuubi no Kitsune from my body, and it now is housed in the body of a fox kit I found orphaned in the woods. I think his mom is now around the neck of Kiba's mom. I intentionally kept the Fox and his chakra apart, so that I can control how much he gets. I don't want a rampage on my hands now that the fox is out. In twelve years he's actually mellowed out a lot."

Sasuke looked at the sleeping kit. "Does it know anything?"

"It knows Henge, Goukakyu, and probably a few more things that I've never asked about. He has a thing for Katon jutsus and a sense of humor as dry as a Sunagakure sunrise, so you two would probably get along."

"We might," said Sasuke. "We might."

"Well, I suppose that since we're all here, and in what seems to be a social mood, I ought to provide some refreshments. Anybody got problems with venison and feral hog?"

**"I'm not too fond of deer, actually. Do you have any chicken?"** said the fox.

Everybody stared. Naruto managed to get his mouth working first. "How did you do that? I only thought you could talk to me!"

**"Now that I'm out of your gut, Kit, I can talk to whomever I wish. I just prefer to keep most of my thoughts between me and you."**

"I think I might have some chicken, Kyu. Light meat or dark?"

**"The whole chicken, rare. And some tea, please."  
**  
"Alright."


	6. Tests of All Sorts

Well, folks, here it is. I've got all (Most) of the mushy character development out of way, and now comes the bloodshed! Enjoy!

--

The next day dawned a pitiful gray. The sky itself seemed depressed. But the foul weather couldn't dampen Naruto's spirit. The whole team had spent the night at Brom's, sleeping where they fell. Naruto bounded out of bed, or in his case, off of Brom's couch, and landed squarely in the middle of Uchiha Sasuke's back. The Uchiha had passed out in the floor, and Sakura was nowhere to be seen. Sasuke came up with a cross between a grunt and a roar, and Naruto felt the wind off of a passing kunai that embedded itself in the ceiling after nearly taking off his nose. Naruto jumped off of Sasuke and bounded into the kitchen. Sakura and Brom were at the table, and Brom was spooning some eggs out onto a plate with a spatula. "Morning Naruto. Before you even ask, I don't have any ramen. So your choice is either eggs, bacon, sausage, toast, cereal, grits, venison, or a can of pork and beans."

Naruto dove into a plate of bacon and eggs, and inhaled it only slightly slower than he inhaled ramen. He then washed it down with a cup of coffee, which he had recently found he liked.

Kyu came walking in from the living room. The fox jumped from floor to lap, then from lap to table, and began to eat some sausage. About ten minutes later Sasuke came in, and had two cans of pork and beans, and a cup of oolong tea for breakfast.

Brom cleared his throat. "Get your gear together, gentlemen. The time is now noon. We have four hours to accomplish any shopping or preparation we may wish to undertake before we have to go and apply for the exams." The group piled out and spread out. Naruto went to a local shop and bought a few secondhand kunai. Sasuke dug through the pile of weapons he'd made until he found what he was looking for. He sold three naginata and a matched brace of wakizashi to get enough money to purchase eight Fuuma Shuriken, a scroll of advanced stealth jutsus, and a half-pint of sake. Once bought, he sat at his place writing poetry and practicing with Inazuma.

Sakura bought a new set of clothes, several medical kits, a field-surgery pack, and a couple cheap shuriken. She spent the remainder of the four hours meditating, trying to be anything but nervous, and failing miserably.

Brom, on the other hand, was out and about doing lots of shopping. He bought smoke bombs, soldier pills, and a sword-care kit, among other things. He also went to the local tobacconist, and replenished his dwindling supply of Bull Durham. He bought saddle soap, and was about to go back to his apartment when a rack of spears caught his eye. He examined each, and walked out with one of them, a stout spontoon with a faded fleur-de-lis on the blade.

They met at the entrance to the Academy. Brom sat astride Daredevil, his saddle gleaming, his boots freshly blacked, and the spear couched in a pocket of the stirrup. Naruto was wearing his cleanest dirty clothes, and looked like he'd just woken up, which he had. Kyu sat at his feet, playing the part of the pet fox to the hilt. Sakura came up to them, her rapier belted on, and her hair tied back with her hitai-ate. Sasuke appeared like a shadow among them, and they went in. Luckily, the hallways were big enough for Daredevil to pass through, though Brom had to dismount and lead him. Kyu perched atop Naruto's shoulders, his balance impeccable. As they approached the doorway, people started to give them a wide berth, mostly because of Daredevil looking half-crazed. They came up to the door, and found a boy in a green jumpsuit being beat on by two others standing at the door. "Is someone as talentless as you really planning to take the Chuunin Selection Exam? Why bother?" said one, a tall boy with a malicious gleam in his eyes.

"Bunch of wet-behind-the-ears snotnoses!" added his partner, a spiky-haired child with a face plastered in band-aids.

"You said it!"

A girl walked up to them, past the prostrate form of her companion. "Please, we're begging you... Let us in." The band-aid boy's response was to backhand her in the face.

Brom was moving before he even thought. His saber and hunting knife were drawn and at the two boys' throats. "To strike a lady is not the act of a gentleman."

Band-aid Boy looked at him, unfazed at the fact that a blade so sharp that he could've shaved with it was pressed to his neck. "You misunderstand! We're just trying to spare you! The exam is very difficult, and we ought to know, we've failed it three times! People have been crippled for life, even killed. Besides that, Chuunin are cell commanders. The full responsibility for failed missions and dead shinobi fall on their shoulders. And you punks have the guts to apply? We're saving a step by weeding out the obvious losers beforehand."

"That sounds good in theory, but you'd better let me and my team through," said Sasuke.

Brom spoke up. "And drop the genjutsu. I know we're still on the second floor. Right, Sakura? You're the genius of our team, so you probably knew from the get-go."

"Of course, we're obviously still on the second floor."

The world swam for a second as the illusion dissipated. "Not bad. But just seeing through it isn't enough!" The band-aid boy spun into a kick aimed at Sasuke's head, just as Sasuke began a kick of his own. Brom whirled out of the way and prepared to jump in, but the kicks were both stopped by the boy in the green jumpsuit. Brom was impressed. There was speed.

The boy let go of the combatants' legs, and strode over to Sakura. "Hi. My name is Rock Lee. You're Sakura, right? Would you like to go out with me? I'll protect you with my life!"

Brom saw Sakura getting ready to do physical harm to this poor, bushy-browed moron, so he stepped between. "My name is Abraham Van Brunt Crane. My friends call me Brom Bones, but you may call me Final Lullaby. Because if you make so much as one more pass at my girlfriend, I'll put you to bed with a pick and shovel." His voice held much venom, and promises of harm to come. They walked off, leaving a saddened Lee behind.

"Thanks for the save, Brom. You meant what you said? About me being your girlfriend?"

Brom blushed. "If you'll have me."

"Of course I will!" She sealed the deal by planting a kiss right on his mouth.

They were almost to the doors when above them they heard a voice. "You, with the swords, fight me! Here and now!" It was Lee.

Brom looked at him, and said, "Alright. If you want a beating so badly, who am I but a gentleman, to give you what you wish?" He slid into a fighting stance.

Lee jumped down from the balcony and assumed his stance. Lee made the first move, a blindingly fast rush that no eye could follow. Brom took the kick full in the chest, and rebounded off the wall, falling into a diving tackle. He caught Lee by the wrist, and drug him down to the floor. After a few seconds of grappling, and two Jyuuken-style hits to the kidney that would probably leave Lee pissing blood for a week, Brom was tossed aside. He regained his feet, and stood there, wobbling for a second or so. Lee darted in, assured of a victory. But as he saw when he got near, he had stumbled into a trap. Brom started to move, a series of attacks that Naruto knew well. "Akurei Tenohira Ryu: Shikon Rendan!" Naruto watched as Brom battered the boy, his chakra rebounding inside Lee to make it seem as if he was being beaten from within as well as from outside. Lee found an opening, and dropped to the floor, kicking Brom into the air. He followed, and his arm bandages began to wrap around Brom. As he began to wrap tighter, a pinwheel flew out of nowhere and pinned the bandages to the wall.

"Stop, Lee!" Brom fell to the floor, and passed out. His fight was more draining than it had looked. Sakura dragged him out to a corner where it was cool and started to bring him back to reality. In the mean time, Naruto and Sasuke were stuck with a turtle that talked, and two sets of eyebrows that looked like they were alive. Lee's sensei had appeared out of nowhere, ranting about the exuberance of youth, and he had bigger eyebrows than Lee!

By the time Brom came to, Lee and his master were gone. He staggered to his feet, collected his spontoon from where Naruto was obviously trying to put out someone's eye with it, and headed for the door. When they arrived at 301, Kakashi was there to meet them. "Ah, good. I see you all made it. That means you all qualify for the exams."

"Huh?" Naruto was confused.

"The way the test is set up, you have to take it as a team. If even one of you declined, you'd all fail. The whole 'The decision is up to you' thing was so the others wouldn't pressure you into participating if you didn't feel like it. But you're all here, so you all pass." They walked past Kakashi into the room.

They were immediately surrounded by a huge milling crowd of people, but most gave them room. They were beginning to relax and prepare mentally for whatever unforeseen tests that they might have to face, when Kyu stood and his hackles went up. A boy with a puppy walked over, and looked with contempt at the Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke. "Well, well, it seems that the idiot and his team made it here, too. I wonder how? It surely wasn't on brains. Why'd you enter? To watch me move up in the ranks?"

Brom, who was laying down, his head propped up on a rucksack and his eyes closed, said, " I'd recognize that growl anywhere. Good hunting, Inuzuka."

Kiba replied without thinking. "And good kill to you, brother. Wait, who are you? And how do you know that greeting?"

"I am Abraham Van Brunt Crane, at your service, and I am to you what I am to the Hyuuga. Kith and kin. My line is linked to your line, though I be not a houndsman."

They fell into a sort of ritualized, formal banter, each saying what he meant, but not quite what he meant. "If be you not a houndsman, then to what beast be you linked?"

"I am for another beast of the foot, neither hound nor hawk."

"A horseman?"

"Aye, a horseman. Your wit is as sharp as your fangs, Inuzuka."

"I should hope my wits match my name! For my name is Fang. Inuzuka Kiba, at your service. And my companion is Akamaru."

"This is my companion, Daredevil. Say hi, Devil."

_**"Nice to meet you, Red."  
**_  
_**"And you, Daredevil. Wait, I smell..."  
**_  
_**"Me!" **_Kyu was bristling.

_**"Kiba! A fox! A fox!" **_The dog began to bristle and growl. His breed had an ingrained hatred of foxes, and killed them at every opportunity. He was struggling in Kiba's arms, trying to get at the hated fox below him.

Kiba looked at Kyu, who was snarling in Naruto's lap. Naruto was glaring at him. "What are you looking at, Naruto?"

"I'm not sure, but it ain't human."

Brom interjected. "Now, now, boys, don't make a scene. I wouldn't want a family quarrel."

"I got no truck with you," said Kiba.

"Ah, but if you brawl with Naruto, you draw me in, for I am kin to three clans in Konoha, the powerful Inuzuka, the noble Hyuuga, and the last surviving Uzumaki."

"You mean to tell me that I'm related to-"

"Yup. To the class clown."

"This has got to be a nightmare." Akamaru bit him on the arm. "Nope, that hurt. This is real."

"Course it is. Now, there's one more reason why you shouldn't be starting fights here. Look around you. Most of these people are in a foul mood. I wouldn't like to be the one who lays that final straw on the camel's back. You?"

"I agree," said a voice behind them. They turned to face a blond boy, wearing glasses. "Yakushi Kabuto's the name. I know all about this test. I've failed it six times so far. And the boy with the horse is right. You don't want a fight now. Especially if you piss off those guys." He pointed to a trio in the back of the room, wearing gray and white camo and headbands with an eighth note on them. "They're from Hidden Sound. It's a very small village to the north. Nobody knows what their specialties are, so no one wants to fight them."

Brom wandered off, and was just starting to get comfortable when he heard a swish behind him. He wheeled, and a Hidden Sound ninja had just swung and missed Kabuto's face. Brom watched, and then Kabuto doubled over and lost his cookies.

"Would everybody please shut up!" There was a boom and a huge cloud of smoke rolled in. Out of it appeared a large group of shinobi, led by a scarred man in a black trenchcoat. "My name is Morino Ibiki, and I'll be the chief proctor for the first phase of the exam. From now on, no fighting, and if you disobey you're gone. No second chances. Turn in your applications, take a card, and go to the seat indicated. Then we'll start the written portion of the test."

Naruto was speechless, no, mortified. "A paper test?! Why me?!"

An hour later, Brom agreed with his simpleton cousin. That test had been a killer. Naruto had very nearly washed out, until it finally dawned on him that the several centuries-old fox sleeping on his shoulder ought to know this sort of stuff. Kyu told him, and then relayed the message to Daredevil, who told Brom. And the tenth question, it nearly broke him. He'd not risk everyone's dreams just to further his own, and would have declined the question, had not Naruto been so bold. It heartened him, and he took the question, passing the test. He watched with mild interest as the second examiner, one Mitarashi Anko, burst, literally, through the window with a type of flair that almost reminded him of Naruto. She vowed to cut the group in half, and it was with some slight dread that Brom bedded down that night.


	7. The Forest

When Team Seven arrived at the testing location the next day, they saw before them one of the most formidable and imposing areas in all of Hidden Leaf. The Forest of Death. It had not lightly gained that name. As they stared, the proctor began to speak. "the object of this mission is simple. But before I explain that, sign these waivers. It indemnifies me against your possible and quite likely demise. You wouldn't like that sort of heat on my pretty head, now would you?"

As the students each took a waiver and filled it out, Anko pulled out a pair of scrolls. "These are your objective. Each team will be given a scroll, marked either Heaven, or Earth. The object is to acquire the other, so as to complete the pair. You may not open them, or else you will be eliminated from the exam. You need only bring them to the tower in the center of the forest, within five days. You may employ any means necessary to get the second scroll. Turn in your waivers. For each team, a scroll."

The team turned in their waivers, and were handed a scroll marked Earth. They stood at the gate, and when the signal was given, they dashed away into the forest. It was little past ten minutes when they heard the first screams. "I see that confict has already broken out," remarked Sasuke. "Probably the bugs." Brom saw a slight, nearly imperceptible spasm in the Uchiha's chest.

Brom looked around. "Sakura, you and Naruto hang tight, while Sasuke and I scout ahead for traps and other teams. When we get back, we'll set up a base of operations. For now, set up a perimeter. Sasuke, hop on, and we'll scout ahead."

As they rode, Sasuke checked the rear and sides for traps and ambushes. When they were out of earshot for the rest of the team, Brom looked at him. "That sallow complexion of yours ain't from lack of sunlight, is it?"

"How'd you tell?"

"That coughing fit you stifled back with the others. What is it?"

"Consumptive Tuberculosis. In its early stages."

"How long have you had it?"

"Since about the middle of the mission before you came along. I contracted it in Hidden Wave."

"That why you-?"

"Why I nip at the flask? Yes, actually. The sake has a palliative effect. It helps to suppress the coughing. I typically go through about a pint or more per day, although as the disease is going into remission, I should be able to dry out some."

No more was said of the subject, and by unspoken agreement they kept it a secret. They scouted out a large clearing, and brought the rest of the team. A perimeter was set up, and traps laid. Naruto gathered wood and started a fire. Sasuke was helping Sakura divide the supplies into rations, and Brom was out of sight searching for game, so as to supplement their provisions. He returned with a large deer across Daredevil's saddle. As he began to dress the deer, Naruto stood. "I've gotta take a leak, guys. Back in a second." He walked out beyond earshot, and was gone for a minute or so. When he returned, he sat down and began to poke at the fire.

Brom looked at him. "Who are you, and where is Naruto?"

"What do you mean, who am I? I'm Naruto, you simp!"

"Piece of advice, stranger. Naruto's right-handed, so he carries his kunai holster on his right thigh. You're worse than he is at Henge. I'll ask once more, who are you? I suppose I already know your business. You're either infiltrating our team to scout us for an ambush, or you're infiltrating our team to attack us yourself, steal the scroll. Which is it?"

The boy dropped the illusion, and drew a knife. "I'll just kill you now, and take the scroll!" He lunged for Brom, but Sasuke was suddenly in the way, his saber drawn. The boy recoiled, taking note of the saber's reach, and retreated. He threw a handful of kunai back over his shoulder, and was beginning to pick up speed when Brom whipped the spontoon through the air. It hissed like a poisonous snake and pierced the boy's back.

Brom walked over, dragged the boy off into the woods, and proceeded to ask choice questions. "Where are you from? You wear no device to suggest a village affiliation."

"I won't talk, no matter what you threaten to do. I don't fear death."

"Trust me, my friend, you will die today. But if you cooperate with me, that end can come in a swift, peaceful manner. If you refuse, I'll keep you alive as I skin you by inches. So which shall it be?"

"I'm from Hidden Rain."

"Good boy. Now answer a few more questions, and I'll put you out of all our miseries." Ten minutes later, Brom walked out of the bush, strode to Sakura, and asked for two syringes, one filled with a strong sedative, and the other with three times the safe dose of curare.

"What do you want that for?"

"A peaceful and humane end for our interloper. He was the scout for a team from Hidden Rain. They are camped a quarter mile due east of us, and Naruto is currently alive and well, tied and gagged, not four hundred yards that way, beneath a willow tree."

"But the drugs?"

"The wound he suffers is surely fatal, as it punctured the liver and one kidney. It is a miracle that he hasn't bled out by now. The sedative to put him at ease, and then the curare to end his life. I don't enjoy killing, not after I've had to talk with the person I'm to kill, but I will do it. It's a necessary evil." He walked back to the bushes, and granted one last mercy to the dying boy. He went over to the willow indicated, and untied Naruto. When they returned, Brom looked around, and stated, "We need a password, to confirm the identity of our teammates in the event this sort of thing happens again. So listen up, here's the password:"

"Tell me not, (Sweet) I am unkind, that from a nunnery, of they chaste breast and quiet mind, to war and arms I fly. True, a new mistress now I chase, the first foe in the field, and with a stronger faith embrace a sword, a horse, a shield. Yet this inconstancy is such, as thou too shalt adore. I could not love thee (Dear) so much, loved I not honor more."

"It's called To Lucasta, on Going to the Wars, by Richard Lovelace."

Naruto grumbled. "Why'd you have to pick something so hard? Why not 'Swordfish'?"

"Don't complain, Naruto. I've already memorized it," said Sakura.

"Bite me."

Brom slapped his cousin across the head. "Language."

Naruto shut up and began to cook the now-butchered deer. "Medium or well done?"

**"Raw," **replied Kyu. Naruto threw him the heart and liver. For a little guy, he ate like a hog.

Brom was honing his hunting knife when a sudden wind blew leaves up around them, and the team scattered to avoid them. Brom and Sasuke weathered the brunt of it, but Naruto and Sakura dove off to either side. As the leaves whirled about, Brom could faintly make out a human shape just outside his vision. As the leaves quit blowing, the figure disappeared. Sakura stood up out of the bush she'd landed in. "Wait, Sakura! To Lucasta!"

"Of course! Tell me not, (Sweet) I am unkind, that from a nunnery, of they chaste breast and quiet mind, to war and arms I fly. True, a new mistress now I chase, the first foe in the field, and with a stronger faith embrace, a sword, a horse, a shield. Yet this inconstancy is such, as thou too shalt adore. I could not love thee (Dear) so much, loved I not honor more." She retook her place by Sasuke's side.

Naruto stood grumbling from a brier bush. "What happened?" he asked as he began to walk toward them. Sakura cut him off. "The password! To Lucasta!"

"Right. Tell me not, (Sweet) I am unkind, that from a nunnery, of they chaste breast and quiet mind, to war and arms I fly. True, a new mistress now I chase, the first foe in the field, and with a stronger faith embrace, a sword, a horse, a shield. Yet this inconstancy is such, as thou too shalt adore. I could not love thee (Dear) so much, loved I not honor more." He ducked as Brom and Sasuke both sent kunai blazing past his head. "Why'd you do that?!"

Sakura was in shock, too. "Guys, he got the password right!"

Brom grinned a predatory grin. "And this one's at least good enough to dodge my attacks."

The Naruto vanished, to be replaced by a Grass nin. "What gave me away?"

"I knew all along that you were dropping eaves on our conversation, so I picked a password that the real Naruto could never memorize."

"I see, quiet mind, eh? How fun!" The ninja stood, and held up an earth scroll. "I suppose that you want my team's earth scroll, seeing as how you've already got a heaven. Well, come and get it!" With that, she swallowed the scroll whole. "We fight to the death!"

Brom, Sakura, and Sasuke were rooted to the spot. Each faced a vision of their own death so real as to make them each think that they were really dead. Until Daredevil roared in Brom's head, "SNAP OUT OF IT!!" Brom shook off the illusion and broke Sakura out of it. Sasuke had stabbed his own leg and focused on the pain to snap free. They took off into the trees, all the while scared out of their minds.

Brom spit off from Sasuke and Sakura, and was hiding among the branches trying to think invisible thoughts and formulate a plan when he heard Sakura yell, "Sasuke! Snake!" Brom tore out of the branches in time to see a giant viper lunge at Sasuke, only to be halted by a rain of shuriken. The Grass nin tore loose from the dead serpent's body where he'd been hiding, and laughed at them. "For shame, letting down your guard so! Stay on your toes, as good prey should, and it will make the chase so much more rewarding... for the predator!"

"Devil, any ideas?"

**"One, but you won't like it..."  
**  
Brom stepped forward to speak, just as the ninja lunged up the tree toward Sasuke. He was stopped by a trio of shuriken from nowhere. "Sorry, guys, but I forgot that stupid password!" yelled Naruto. He disappeared from the limb he was on and reappeared by Brom. "What's the plan? How do we kick this freak's butt?"

"We don't." Brom stood. "You want our heaven scroll, right? Take it and leave." He pulled the scroll and threw it toward the enemy ninja.

It was intercepted mid-flight by Naruto. "What the heck do you think you're doing, Crane! Is this some clever little strategy of yours, to give up all we've got?"

"Stay out of it, Naruto. This guy's way out of our league." He would have said more, but Naruto clocked him.

"I forgot the damned password, so I can't prove it, but this is not my cousin!"

"I'm me, you idiot!"

"Bull! And you're the idiot! And a coward, which Brom isn't by a long shot! I'm not so sure we ought to be scared of this guy, and even if we did hand over the scroll it's no guarantee that he won't still kill us, you dolt! So even if you were the real deal, I'd still be calling you an idiot!"

"And you're right," cooed the Grass nin from above. "Why bargain when I can simply kill you all and take the scroll?" He bit his thumb and swiped it down a tattoo on his left arm. "Art of the Familiar Spirit!" The leaves swirled, and the Grass nin stood atop the head of another giant snake.

Naruto lunged at the snake, calling out to Kyu, who had been in his pocket. The snake swiped him down with his tail and went to eat the fox boy, but Naruto was game. "Eat snot, sucker!" He hit the snake as hard as his fox-chakra strengthened arms would allow. The enemy ninja used a wind jutsu to blow him away, and turned now to Sasuke. But as the snake lunged, his aim deadly, he was stopped by an orange blur. "You alright, fraidy cats?" slurred Naruto. Next to him was an exact double, except that this one had canine eyes, and fangs that would make a vampire jealous. It spoke. **"Kitsune Henge: Fox Transformation. Finish this worm, will you?" **asked Kyu.

"Gladly." Sasuke ran Inazuma through its head and lunged after the Grass nin, his Sharingan spinning wildly. But the ninja simply dodged away faster than eyes could follow. He reappeared behind Naruto and Kyu.

"My, my, using a forbidden jutsu to separate the Nine-Tailed Fox from his host, and bind him to another body? Most interesting, but the technique, so vulgar and crude!" Little fires of chakra appeared on the tips of each finger. "Gogyo Fuuin: Five Elements Seal!" He slammed each hand into a gut, and both Narutos slumped unconscious. He produced the heaven scroll from Naruto's bag, and burned it.

"Sasuke, Heaven and Hell?" The Uchiha nodded, and they both vanished. The Grass nin rushed toward Sakura, who now stood defenseless.

"Your fight is with us!" yelled Sasuke as he fell from the sky. He'd ascended to the treetops, and then jumped as high as he could. He now returned to earth, lead by Inazuma. The ninja leapt back. "That's the beauty of Heaven and Hell. I come down from Heaven,"

Brom exploded from beneath the ground where he'd been hiding. "And I come up from Hell! Hellfire Style: Black Dragon Missile!" A huge dragon of black fire erupted from Brom's hands, and engulfed the Grass nin. Brom watched as the ninja was burnt to the bones, and collapsed. He heard Sasuke groan, and Sakura scream. He turned in time to see the Grass nin clamped onto Sasuke's neck. Brom looked back at the body only to find a log.

The ninja let go, and spoke. "I look forward to seeing you again. The mark on his neck is a little memento. I do hope you can defeat my three loyal Sound ninja. It would be a shame not have a rematch with you, especially you, Sasuke. I am Orochimaru." And with that, the Grass nin melted back into the forest, and was gone.


	8. Reintroductions

Brom watched as Sasuke collapsed. Sakura rushed to him, and try as she might, she could not wake him, nor Naruto or Kyu. "Daredevil, what is going on?"

_**"I don't know, Brom."  
**_  
"Sakura, can we move them?

"I don't think so, Brom."

"I'll set up a perimeter, tighten our defenses. Listen, Sakura, if anything happens, just remember to guard the others. I'll handle whatever comes our way, so long as you keep our teammates alive. Devil, high alert. Eyes, ears, and nose open, reports every five minutes." Brom set about using the last of his trap kits, and a few that he learned at home, to tighten the perimeter defenses. By the time he was finished, a mouse couldn't make it into the clearing.

"Squirrel, Brom, five feet and closing." Brom saw the rodent, and also saw the exploding note on its back. He grabbed the squirrel, ripped off the letter bomb, and put it out. He let the squirrel go back into the forest, and turned back to Sakura. "Brom, three humans incoming. They'll be here right about, now!"

Brom whirled as three kunai came streaking at him. He ducked and repulsed the blades with his saber. Brom drew the hunting knife and lunged for the source of the kunai. He was stopped short by a massive force slamming him against a tree. Brom could feel his leg snap. He sat up and saw the three Sound ninja attacking as one. There was a girl, with black hair, a boy with a white ponytail, wrapped in bandages like a mummy, and a black-haired boy, with holes in either palm, grinning like a madman. Brom hurled his spontoon as hard as he could, but the black-haired boy deflected it by merely raising his palm. A burst of high-pressure air erupted from it, and the spear went off into the heavens. (It would later fall from the sky, impaling a bag of potato chips that Akimichi Chouji was holding as he ate, causing his team to prepare for immediate attack. It would be the fastest Chouji'd ever prepared for something besides an all-you-can-eat buffet.) The black-haired boy turned to Brom and spoke. "Zankuha, the Blast that Cuts the Air."

His companions looked to him. "Zaku, just finish this, we don't have all day," said the mummified one. Zaku grinned his maniacal grin once more, and advanced toward Sakura, who was rooted to the spot, her rapier drawn.

Brom sat helpless as the three moved on his teammate, his leg barely begun to heal. He could do nothing as the three prepared to slaughter her, and his fallen mates.

But Brom was amazed to see a green blur streak into the clearing, and Zaku went flying. Rock Lee stood proud and solid before Sakura. Brom's leg healed enough to where he could move, and he limped up to Lee. "I told Sakura I would defend her with my life. I'm a man of my word, Brom Bones."

"Welcome to the fray, Lee. You take the one with the mummy face, and I'll go after the psycho. Sakura, can you defend against the girl? Devil can provide backup if you need it."

"I can handle her."

"Alright, then. To battle, Lee?"

"To battle." The two erupted off their marks, each headed to his own target. Brom rushed in with a flurry of sword attacks, thrusting and slashing with lightning speed. But the boy from Sound dodged each one. Neither spoke, and though Brom was in deadly earnest, Zaku grinned as he dodged. Zaku drew a kunai, and began to stand and parry when he tired of dodging. Finally, Zaku was done playing with Brom. As Brom lunged in to thrust, he caught a Zankuha in the belly. He rolled with it, so the impact was lessened somewhat, but it still cracked some ribs. Brom's saber flew from his hand. As he lay on the ground, Brom saw Zaku pick it up. He realized right away that he didn't have the chakra to use any jutsu, not even Kawarimi to switch with something and get out of the way. He couldn't best the reach advantage Zaku now had using his hunting knife or kunai, so his only option was the one he'd been dreading. He looked up at Zaku, who now stood above him. "Good ninja, would you grant me one last request? As an honorable shinobi?"

"What is it?"

"Allow me five minutes to kneel and pray before you kill me. Allow me to make peace before I go."

"Alright, but make it quick." Zaku stood poised to strike. He was low, and somewhat vicious, but he had an honorable streak.

Brom closed his eyes and retreated into his mind. He walked up a path in his mindscape to a sword set in a stone. It was the seal that bound the Horseman in his blade. "Horseman!"

The sword vibrated, and the Hessian's voice came out. **"What is it you want, boy?"**

"I wish to make with you a trade. I am at this moment about to face the fate that befell you in the western woods that winter. A man has my sword, and is about to take my head. I can defend myself by drawing your sword. If I draw your sword, you'll take over. I know this and you know this. I don't want to draw your sword. The last time it was loosed you killed Anne and cursed me by filling the gaps in the Wanderer's Chains. But I also don't wish to hasten forth to the endless torture of wandering the earth. So this is my proposal. What is it you wish more than anything?"

**"Freedom."  
**  
"If you agree to my terms, I will give you that freedom, in a sense. You'll be called forth to do battle, and little else, but you will be free."

**"Name your terms, boy."**

"Firstly, you cease calling me boy. Secondly, you kill only those I tell you to. Unless I give the go-ahead, you are not to kill. Thirdly, you have to go back when I say to. Are we agreed, Hessian?"

**"I don't like it, but beggars can't be choosers. Shall we iron out the details once we are safe and free? I believe the sword above you is a more pressing situation."  
**  
"Agreed. You kill only the boy with my sword, and his companions, but none else! Especially not the pink-haired girl, the pale boy with black hair, or the fox and the blond boy."

**"Agreed, Abraham Crane. Shall we?"  
**  
"After you."

Brom's eyes opened. But where once rested eyes as verdant green as a forest there now shone a pair of orbs as blue as sapphire, and as hard as ice. They immediately took in that Lee was down. Sakura stood over the others, her rapier darting out like a striking viper, holding the girl at bay. The boy stood, and drew the broadsword at his hip. Zaku rushed him with the saber, and swung in a powerful, yet clumsy slash downward. Brom parried it easily, and the blade flew out of Zaku's hand. **"Guten tag; ich bin der Hessian."**

"Huh?" Everyone was confused, not only at the change, but at the words.

**"Pardon me. It has been a while since I last had a voice. I said, Good day; I am the Hessian." **He looked at Sakura. **"You must be the pink-haired girl that the Crane boy warned me not to harm. He speaks volumes of you. And you must be the Sound ninja that he told me of,"** the Hessian spoke, looking at Zaku. **"I was to kill you. And I think I shall. Daredevil!"** The horse ran to him, and he mounted. **"We ride!" **They charged across the clearing at breakneck speeds, and the Zankuha blasts that Zaku launched from his palms were dodged narrowly. The Hessian leapt from Devil's back, and brought his sword down in a two-handed slash that laid the boy's right arm open to the bone. The next strike would have taken his head at the shoulders, but a wave of low-pitched noise washed over him, and The Hessian collapsed, reverting back to Brom.

When he awoke, Brom's head was pounding. "What happened?"

Sakura spoke. "After the mummy guy, Dosu, used a sound technique on you, you passed out. Ino's team blundered along, and they tried to get in on the action. They were just about overmatched when the rest of Lee's team came along, and Sasuke woke up. The mark that Orochimaru guy gave him had spread all across his body, and he went berserk. He broke Zaku's arms, and nearly tore them off, but I couldn't stand to see him like such a monster, and somehow he stopped. Naruto woke up and asked about Kyu, then you. By the way, what was that, that way your eyes changed color after you knelt? I think you even said you were the Hessian."

"That actually was the Hessian. We struck a bargain. I let him out in battle by drawing his sword, and he follows my orders. It's mutually beneficial. Isn't that right, Hessian?" He tapped the blade with his hand, much like one would a younger sibling or favorite pet. Sakura was in shock.

"How long have I been out?

"About two hours. Sasuke went scouting, and came back with some bad news. No other teams around, but that Hidden Rain camp the spy told us about? It was gone. The two other shinobi were dead. Crushed to death, as if by some huge hand. And grit was found in the bloodstains. Almost like sand."

"Devil, can you smell anyone?"

_**"No. But I can detect the faint scent of woodsmoke from the west, so I suggest we go that way."**_

"Devil says we should go west. He smells woodsmoke, so it could be a camp. What scroll do we have?"

"Earth," replied Sasuke. "The Sound trio left it as they turned tail and ran."

They stalked off, with Daredevil taking Sakura to a new campsite by the river with their supplies. An hour later, they came upon a tiny clearing near a bamboo grove. In it lay three sleeping forms. Brom looked at them. "Sasuke?"

"I can't. When I try to use chakra, even for the Sharingan, I lose control."

"Kyu, can you sneak in and see if anything's up?"

**"Of course." **The fox slid into camp, as silent as the grave, and came back. **"Tsuchigakure, Hidden Stone. All three are sleeping, but the perimeter is so full of traps that a person can't get through."**

"Now what do we do?" asked Naruto.

"I have an idea. Kyu, keep an eye on the rocks. Naruto, find me some feathers, and a string. Sasuke, find me some stout wood and narrow bamboo canes." The two went to gather the supplies. When they returned, Brom took them and sat down quietly out of earshot of the camp and pulled his hunting knife. Within an hour he had a workable bow and three arrows with stone heads and mismatched feathers. Brom shinnied up a huge bamboo and took aim. One by one he put an arrow in the head of each Stone Shinobi. He silently prayed that they find peace. "Check their camp. Take their supplies, weapons, everything. Including their boots." They set about disarming the traps.

Sasuke rifled through each one's pockets. "Bingo. Heaven."

"Bravo. Let's head back to camp and let Sakura know."

Naruto filled the dead ninjas' packs, taking the weapons, scrolls, rations, even their spare clothes. Brom used a Doton Jutsu to bury them, and a chakra marker to let him know the location. "What was that for, the marker?" asked Naruto.

"So that when this exam is over, I can find their teacher and let him know the location, so they can have a proper funeral in their home village. It is the least I could do."

As they went back along their backtrail, they came across prints going toward their camp. Kyu sniffed. _**"The Yakushi boy, from the first test. Not five minutes ago."**_

They set out, faster now, but silently. When they arrived, Sakura was sitting down next to Kabuto, drinking tea. Both were facing away from the trail. Brom signaled with his hands, and the others slithered off in different directions, setting up overwatch and ambush positions. Brom strode silently up to the two, and laid his saber point against the hollow of Kabuto's neck. "Stand and deliver, Sir, or I will strike you down."

"Ah, the hero returns. I wondered when you'd get back. Like I told Sakura when I arrived in your camp, I mean you no harm. My team already has both scrolls, so why would I want yours?"

"More scrolls in your possession means fewer teams pass, and fewer teams means less competition," hissed Brom. Sasuke's stern glare echoed the sentiment.

"True, but the idea never occurred to me. My team and I got separated on the trail. I never could navigate."

"So you come here, seeking refuge among us?"

"More or less."

Brom sighed. "You may stay. But only until we reach the tower, and you will relinquish all your arms to us. We'll return them at the end." Brom watched as Kabuto pulled out several kunai, a small folding razor, a dozen shuriken, a Fuuma shuriken, and a wicked-looking hooked kunai. "Any medical items you may possess." That yielded a surgical kit complete with scissors, scalpel, and a very sharp tenaculum. Brom took these, and while he put them in his bag, Sasuke patted Kabuto down.

"He's clean."

Kabuto looked sad. "How am I supposed to defend myself?"

"Hand-to-hand. Now sit, and enjoy our fabled hospitality." The four ninja set about dividing the spoils of the raid. Naruto got some boots to replace the pair he'd been wearing, which were nearly worn out, three scrolls of basic Stone jutsus, and a copy of Make-out Paradise. Sasuke took a sword-cleaning kit, three pairs of gloves, and a ream of exploding notes. Sakura took a set of leather gauntlets, and was digging through one's pack when she found another scroll. It was fairly thick. The title was in a language she couldn't read, but the text she could, faintly.

"What's this? I can't read the title."

Brom looked it over. "Trattato di Scienza d'armi, by Camillo Agrippa. I'd advise holding onto that if I were you, Sakura. It's a fencing manual. It was written by an Italian named Camillo Agrippa, and it deals with the type of sword you own. It's a rapier manual."

Brom looked through the packs, and pulled out some poison-making scrolls, some fragrant tobacco, and a meerschaum pipe with an engraved stem and bowl. It bore twisting designs of ivy on the stem, and a bear on either side of the bowl. The weapons collected were inventoried, and divided evenly among them. The only two that any dispute was over were a Fuuma Shuriken with serrated blades, and a main gauche left-hand dagger. They settled the dispute with the dagger being presented to Sakura, as it was meant to be used in conjunction with a rapier or side-sword anyway, and a game of Jan-Ken-Pon for the shuriken. Sasuke won. Brom began to dig through the supplies brought over from the Stone camp, and selected some cans with homemade labels on them. Upon opening them he found rich, hearty stews, that he poured into a pot and set to cooking. He tasted it, and found it rather lacking in meat, so he cut up some leftover venison into the pot, and soon the aroma wafting out was heavenly. "Ladies, gentlemen, and Squatter," he said, "Come and get it. Stone stew with venison."

Sakura looked at him. "Stone?"

Naruto answered. "We ran into a camp. Three sleeping Stone shinobi. Brom dealt with them." He knew Sakura hated death, and killing, so he deliberately avoided mentioning how the shinobi were dealt with.

Brom was under a tree nearby, praying for the spirits of the ninja he'd killed, wishing them peace in the afterlife. After he finished, he sat and meditated. He needed to talk with the Hessian. He walked down the path of his mindscape, and instead of the sword in the rock, found a small cabin. Inside sat the Hessian. "I see that your lodgings have changed."

**"So it seems, Crane. I suppose I have you to thank. By agreeing to give me more freedom, the way your mind portrays my seal was altered. I now have a cozy little lodge, where once I had but a sword. I suppose you're here to discuss the particulars of our agreement?"**

"I am."

**"Well, then, allow me to show you proper German hospitality while we discuss this. Schnapps?"**

"No thank you. Here are my terms. I let you out in battle, and on special occasions only. I loosen the seals on the sword, but not enough for you to escape."

**"I want more freedom than that, Abraham. Give me access to your chakra, and a way to manifest myself separately from you, and you have a deal."**

"Not unrestricted access. Ten percent, at most."

**"Fifty-five."  
**  
"Thirty, and I'll find a way to let you manifest a little."

**"Deal." **They shook hands, and Brom resurfaced from his mind. He spent the night polishing a bow that he'd taken from one of the dead Stone shinobi, a short, stout bow, backed with water buffalo sinew. The arrows were well-made, and tipped with iron heads, formerly a cast-iron skillet, if the grease smell on them was any clue.

When morning came, Naruto was off in one corner, honing part of his spoils, a pair of kusari-gama, or sickles with chains on the butts. Each sickle had an eight-foot chain with a steel weight at the end mounted to the butt. Naruto finished honing them on a whetstone, and came back to the fire. "I think we should set out now, so we can pass this test."

"I agree," said Sakura, as she read from her fencing scroll and practiced passatas.

"Might as well," said Sasuke. He took a pull from the flask.

"Let's go then. Kyu, keep an eye on Kabuto. You too, Naruto." Brom saddled up Daredevil, and lashed the supplies onto his back. Devil had words to say over it, but Brom pointed out that he was stronger than the humans, being a demon, and that this left the rest of them free to defend themselves. They set out toward the center of the forest, being careful and silent. They walked for hours, and finally something became apparent to Naruto when he passed a tree and gouged bark from it, and they passed the same tree three times.

Naruto was mortified when he realized it. They were trapped in a genjutsu, and they hadn't figured it out in almost an hour. "Guys, we're going in circles."

He'd have said more, but those who set the trap now sprung it. As the team dispelled the illusion, a wave of clones attacked. They were water clones, which meant either Rain or Mist. The wave of dense fog that rolled in settled that debate. As they all fell into the fray, volley upon volley of shuriken and kunai would rain down upon them. Brom leapt back from the fray, and unslung the bow. He waited, and waited, and once three volleys had come in, he gauged the rough location of the enemy. The clones were of only two people, so the third must be the one lobbing rounds in. Brom drew the bow, and the shaft whistled through the air, striking nothing, but the faint curse he heard told him he'd at least come close. The second arrow was lower. The volleys stopped.

Sakura was fencing with the clones, and Sasuke was using Inazuma. Naruto had slipped on a pair of brass knuckles, and Kyu used Kitsune Henge. They were all fighting, and winning, but the clones kept coming. They couldn't tell where the real Mist nins were. Naruto used Shadow Clone, and each clone fought with the ferocity of the original. Brom loosed arrows into the battle until he was done, and drew the Hessian's sword. "Your turn."

The Hessian waded into the battle, and cut down all who stood in his way. At last only two Mist Shinobi stood, locked in mortal combat with Sakura. She lunged, running one through, and dropped to the ground, sweeping the other's legs from beneath him and plunging the dagger into his chest. Both disappeared in splashes of water.

"What?! Clones?" yelled Naruto incredulously. "Where's the real pair?"

"Naruto, I have a plan," whispered Sasuke. "Just follow my lead." With that, he used the signs for the Kirigakure Hiding in Mist Jutsu, just as he'd learned from watching Zabuza in the land of waves. Naruto followed, and left the others as bait. Soon the two real shinobi began to creep up on Brom and Sakura. Naruto came out of the mist with the two kusari-gama in hand. The chains wrapped around the Mist nins' necks, and he dragged them close and knocked them out. The Hessian sheathed the sword, and Brom returned. He searched the woods near where he'd fired the first two arrows, and found the third ninja, with an arrow in his leg and in his shoulder. He got knocked out, and all three were trussed up. The team set back off toward the tower, and arrived just as the sun set on the second day. Kabuto met up with his team, and got all his weapons and surgical gear back, as promised.

Inside, they opened the scrolls, and out of them was summoned one Umino Iruka, Chuunin and teacher. "You pass!"


End file.
